Hey, gang! I tried to blog on Saturday, but the software ate the short post in which I apologized for being absent, but I’m sick. I’m praying the software doesn’t eat this post too.

I wanted to share a couple of things with you that came my way. The first is Sebastian. You may have seen him in commercials, but if not, you’re in for something between a treat and a giggle.

Sebastian Commercial

The second is a blog post that was forwarded to me. I want to attribute appropriately, and I hope I get it right. This one is hysterical. Enjoy!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Tips for Jurls

Like Catwoman returning to the scene of a crime, I’ve been back on cosmopolitan.com gathering more sex advice, this time from the Cosmo guys:

I can’t be the only guy who loves when a woman licks that soft patch of skin in front of my ears.- Jamie, 23

Sure you can, Jamie, or should I call you Wet Willy?! Uh, by “patch of skin” do you mean face? Pretty sure face licking isn’t a common love making skill amongst us humans. Now, if you said you liked your ding-dong licked I would say, “of course you do.”

My girlfriend pretended to not want to kiss me. I had to use my tongue to pry her mouth open passionately. Ron, 25

Ron, in most places that’s called date rape. Maybe she wasn’t pretending. Maybe your breath smells like ass. Or maybe she hates you.

A little known erogenous zone: the area between a guy’s navel and his penis. Lick it, tickle it, or gently tug the hairs there. Cesar, 28

Gee, thanks Cesar. I’m pretty sure all us ladies know that any area within a foot of the penis is an erogenous zone. In fact, pretty much any area on any man is an erogenous zone. I make sure I don’t accidentally bump into my husband unless I’m ready for sex because even a casual brush can start a fire. For example, the other night in bed I accidentally nudged his knee with my heel and he said, “Well, now you’re going to have to do something about it.” Huh? I guess knees are also erogenous zones.

A major reason guys dig missionary: when a woman lies back and raises her arms, her boobs are at their fullest and bounciest. Gabe, 20

Um, Gabe, this is only true for ladies your age. When ladies of a certain age lie back with their arms raised they suddenly have nipples in their armpits. No, a woman of a certain age, when on her back, needs to cradle both those bad boys in her crossed-arms to get them where God put them. But, don’t worry, there will always be twenty year old boobs for you to date no matter how old you are.

Make me explode during doggie-style sex by turning your face to the side and making out with me. Paul, 35

Paul, is one of you a giraffe?

Stay silent as you approach orgasm. The way your face scrunches up says more than words. Sal, 28

Great, Sal, that makes it a lot easier to fake. (and the way her face scrunches up might be saying “I’m missing Grey’s for this?”)

Brush your teeth with minty toothpaste before you go down on me. I’ll feel extra shivery. Patrick, 24

Sure, if you’ll brush your ding-dong with minty toothpaste so it won’t taste like a gym sock. It won’t make me extra shivery, but it won’t make me gag.

Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast you can. Jaime, 28

Okaaaaay, but that sounds like a wicked Indian burn. Should I thump it too?

Flick just the tip of my penis with your tongue. It would take hours for me to climax this way, but man, what a way to pass the time! Keith, 22

Yeah, what a way to pass the time. I can’t think of a better way to spend my time than flicking the tip of ding-a-ling with my tongue for hours. Except, maybe, flicking the tip of a knife over the tip of your penis for hours.

All of these helpful sex tips plus lots more even helpfullier tips can be found on cosmopolitan.com. Good luck, brave vaginas…er…souls.

Jennifer Ortiz

I’ll be back tomorrow with more fun–and a new print book’s release!

After 5 days, over 2000 miles in a minivan and 200 readers, authors and booksellers, I’m home. Totally exhausted, but it was SO worth it. I had a fantastic time. Slept very little, left behind 1/4th of a bottle of banana rum and totally enjoyed the chance to talk to old friends and new readers alike. Pictures are forthcoming, I promise. Until then, I’ll share a few funny tidbits.

Believe it or not, one of the best parts of the trip was the drive. Nikki Duncan, reader Angie and I made the marathon road trip together. And we found some of the most brow-raising signs. I’ll share a few:

* We flash cell phones. Really? You…what? Lift your shirt up and treat phones like it’s Mardi Gras and you’re trolling for beads? I’m sure this is something technical, but it seemed really funny when we were all tired.

* If you don’t ride, you don’t know. This from a guy on a Harley. I can only imagine what you’re supposed to ride to know anything. Actually he was kinda hot, but my momma told me not to accept rides from strangers. Besides, RAH wouldn’t approve. So I guess I’ll go on not knowing.

* Use the rod, save your children’s lives. Hmm… I don’t want to start a controversy on corporal punishment, but I’m not interested in taking parenting advice from a billboard.

* Go big or don’t go at all. There are so many ways to apply this. Like always bring your A game. It’s important to always try. Do things with your whole heart or don’t bother. But no… We were driving along to a TomTom and decided that we didn’t like the annoying woman’s voice telling us what to do, so we picked a less annoying man’s voice. His name was Richard…which you can probably guess quickly got shortened to Dick. Apply that to “go big or don’t go at all” and…yeah, we had LOTS of fodder for giggles. Especially when Dick constantly talked back anytime we had to take a break. We then told him that we, um…had it in hand. :-)

Okay, signage aside, I’m happy to report that I’m over page 300 on SEDUCE ME IN SHADOW. I’m hoping to finish in the next 10 days or so. More on that as the days go by. Wish me luck!

I’m leaving tomorrow with Naughty Nikki to go to Lora Leigh’s Reader Appreciation Weekend. We’ve decided to be adventurous and drive the 16 hours, one way, to West Virginia. In truth, I’ve never seen some of these parts of the country, so I’m looking forward to it. That’s the cool part. The not so cool? I haven’t yet packed a thing.

I’m still trying to finish up SEDUCE ME IN SHADOW to turn into my editor. I’m running a tad behind, but hoping I can get a lot of work done on this car trip. I’m also really looking forward to seeing lots of my buddies and readers who attended last year’s event, as well as making new friends and meeting (hopefully) new fans.

I’ll try to send a RAW report or two along the way. There will be pictures when I return. I’ve already set the camera aside. So unlike RT earlier this year where I was stupid and forgot my camera, I’ll be better prepared this time.

Just as a head’s up, October’s monthly contest will be all about spreading reviews for TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS across the Internet. If you haven’t gotten your copy yet or read it, you’ve got a few weeks… Stay tuned for details!

I’ll be back in town on Tuesday, but hope to blog before then!

Okay, you know the drill. End of deadline = fewer posts. Sorry for the last absent week. I really am trying to finish SEDUCE ME IN SHADOW. Getting closer, but…not there yet. Ike was a major time killer for me over the weekend also. We expected a lot here where I live, but it turned away from us thankfully. We watched a lot of news until we were certain. I’m so sorry for all the folks in southeastern Texas/southwestern Louisiana. I wish you speedy recoveries back to normal. I certainly hope they rebuild Galveston.

In the meantime, I’ll share a little news, something new and, yes, a Manly Monday pic.

The news is, I’ve got a few new reviews for TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS to share:

5 out of 5! “As the first book in Shayla Black’s intriguing new series, Tempt Me With Darkness is a fantabulous kick off to what promises to be an incredible adventure. With the heat and intense emotion we have come to expect from Ms. Black, and the action she is showing a distinct flair for, you cannot possibly pass this one up.” ~ A Romance Review

5 out of 5! “With her fascinating world of immortals and magickind, beloved author Shayla Black’s Tempt Me With Darkness hooks readers from page one and keeps us enthralled to the very end. This is a wonderful new series with a depth and passion that will make readers crave the next installment.” ~ Two Lips Reviews

“This book indulges fans with Ms. Black’s unique brand of sensual romance while showcasing just how creative this talented author’s imagination truly is. TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS will be like catnip to lovers of paranormal romance, and will certainly foster an epidemic of happy addiction to…THE DOOMSDAY BRETHREN!” ~ Wild On Books

“Fascinating urban fantasy… Fast-paced from the onset… TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS is an entertaining tale that will leave fans believing in the magic of a wonderful author…” ~ Harriet Klausner

The other good news is that, for everyone who asked, more e-versions of TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS are now available at SimonSays. So if you were waiting for a PDF, Microsoft Reader or Palm e-reader format. They are now available.

Onto the something new… I’m going to be Author of the Month at Romance Divas (thanks, Jax!). Accordingly, the Divas had me answer some questions for them, which I thought I’d share with you. They’re mostly geared to writers, but I thought I’d share for kicks.

1. How long and hard did you work before you got published?
A bunch! I published in the stone age, before e-publishing and during the consolidation of a lot of the print publishers. So the choices were few and the competition fierce. It took me 3 manuscripts over 7 years of serious writing, 5 after becoming a Golden Heart finalist, but I didn’t quit.

2. What genre do you love writing more since you have written in a variety of genres?
Totally depends on my mood. The most natural for me is sexy or erotic contemporary. I sometimes miss the grandeur of historicals. I am loving the envelope-pushing drama of paranormals that allows me to take my creativity wherever it wants to go. I like it all!

3. If you weren’t a writer what would career path would you choose?
I am actually a certified training curriculum developer and have worked in a corporate setting for 17 years. I still work part-time to keep my skills current.

4. What do you like most about a writer’s life?
The people. We’re all nuts and we understand each other. *g* It’s great to join any gathering of writers and have something in common with people immediately. We have so many shared experiences and questions, and solutions, etc. I always look forward to getting together with other writers. The other thing that is wonderful, if mind-boggling, is getting paid for something I’ve made up completely out of my head.

5. When did you get ‘the call’ and how did you react?
The call came May 28, 1998. I’d been forewarned that it was coming, but it was still very thrilling. I was at my day job at the time, so couldn’t be too loud. But I definitely celebrated with my family and my then-critique group over the next few days.

6. What advice would you offer to the unpublished romance writer?
Do NOT give up. There will be times when it seems too difficult and too pointless and that the odds are overwhelming. I maintain 2 things: the people who succeed are not always the most talented, but the most persistent. And the tough times now enable you to deal with tough times you may experience as a published author AND give you some perspective to appreciate what you accomplish. Believe it or not, I see a lot of difficulty among authors who didn’t have to struggle and work for years. They don’t’ always understand or appreciate their position until it’s too late.

7. What would people be most surprised to learn about you?
I danced for 12 years, but drew the line at toe shoes. I’m a huge reality TV fan. Diet Coke, not Pepsi—ever. I don’t do sappy. I’m driven. I’ve sold 24 books in the last 10 years, despite taking 18 months off in the middle, while working full-time for most of that period and being a mother. I refuse to make excuses for not going after what I want. 

And now we’ll get back to Manly Monday. Lemme prowl through my gallery and bring out…

Howdy, ma’am! Yeehaw!

Happy Monday! Here’s another hot guy to start your week! I have a whole library of them, courtesy of friends and other secret sources, and I always enjoy finding just the right one at the top of the week.

A few leftover pieces of news I didn’t get to convey yesterday…

The print version of my author copies of THE LADY AND THE DRAGON arrived yesterday. September 30 is just around the corner. Squee!

Additionally, various electronic versions of TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS are now available.

Amazon Kindle version available here
MobiPocket version available from Fictionwise
Sony Reader version available here.

I also received a new review for the book:

5 out of 5! “As the first book in Shayla Black’s intriguing new series, Tempt Me With Darkness is a fantabulous kick off to what promises to be an incredible adventure. With the heat and intense emotion we have come to expect from Ms. Black, and the action she is showing a distinct flair for, you cannot possibly pass this one up.” ~ A Romance Review

Yippee! I hope it’s a great week for everyone!

Happy Sunday, all! Just a bit of new news for the week, so I’ll lay it on you quickly.

Today, RAH (Romance Author Husband) and I are celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary…bys running errands, watching football (yeah, it’s back!!), and doing laundry. We celebrated by going to a fabulous dinner last night at one of our favorite “special occasion” sort of restaurants. Their lemon cake is to DIE for. I woke this morning to a lovely card and roses. Awww! Then he took me to get some of the best french toast ever, right before we hit the grocery store. Not the most romantic day, but since we just took a cruise 3 weeks ago, I’m totally happy.

Yesterday, I spent the day with Naughty Nikki, L Swift and a few other friends, plotting the third Doomsday Brethren book, SEDUCE ME IN SHADOW. I got most of it done, and will have a good jumping off point when I begin in October.

I found out yesterday that TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS is listed as a Top Pick in Borders monthly newsletter available in stores! They even included a pic of me. I was tickled pink.

The review that Book Binge did for TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS was picked up byt USA Today and Reuters. This is both thrilling and totally amazing!

I solidified 3 signings in October. All locations are Barnes & Noble stores in Texas from 2pm to 4pm. I’ll be at the North Richland Hills location on October 4, the Lewisville location on October 18, and the Southlake location on October 25. I’ll be signing with a collection of other authors, which makes it lots of fun!

Finally, I’m preparing to attend Reader Appreciation Weekend in West Virginia on September 20th and 21st. Can you say road trip? Really looking forward to this! I’ll be hanging out with the ever-wonderful Sylvia Day, signing with Lora Leigh, JR Ward, and other great authors. Last year when I attended this event, we had such wonderful fall weather, so I’m hoping for the same this year. There’s supposed to be a masquerade ball the night I arrive. Um…I don’t play dress up well, so I’ll have to invent something.

Watch out tomorrow for a new Manly Monday!

Oh, and I’ve been asked for some of the usual blog info, so here it goes…

Mood: Tired but happy

Currently listening to: The Dallas Cowboys play at the Cleveland Browns. (Go Cowboys! So far, it’s 28 to 7)

Currently reading: CARNAL HARVEST by Robin L. Rotham and SEDUCING MR. DARCY by Gwyn Cready

SEDUCE ME IN SHADOW is due 10/1, so I’m racing to the finish. Wish me luck!

Gang,

A very quick happy Friday to everyone. I’m going to pop in and tell you a bit about Sasha White’s newest, MY PREROGATIVE, which came out earlier this week.

She does what she likes…
…and what she likes is absolutely wicked.

Kelsey Howard is happy with the single life. She has great friends, a fun job tending bar, and a nice apartment. Not to mention the freedom to enjoy a few wild sex games with strangers—the riskier the better. But what she’s really looking for in the darkness is love.Then Kelsey realizes she’s got an annonymous stranger watching her every move—and every move she makes is arousing them both. In fact, not only is she not scared, she thinks she may have finally found her soul mate. Especially when she meets the mischievous mystery man in the flesh. That’s when the fun and games really start, and Kelsey realizes just how far she’s prepared to go for love.

READ CHAPTERS!
Sasha has blogged the first 4 chapters of the book for you to read. Check them out!
Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4 

Here’s what reviews say:

“Delicious, delectable and downright intoxicating, MY PEROGATIVE by Sasha White is sure to blow your mind. ” ~ Recommended read, Dark Angel Reviews

“My Prerogative is an extremely sexy story with multi-layered characters that I absolutely adored… If you like your romance scorching, this one’s for you!” ~ Romance Novel TV

“It is truly a joy to get lost in a book and not want to put it down, Sasha White offers that option to her readers in My Prerogative, and for that reason I definitely recommend it!” ~ Outstanding Read, Simply Romance Reviews

Sasha’s voice is unique and edgy in erotic romance. I’ll bet you enjoy it. Have a great weekend! 

It’s Whatever Wednesday. So for my “whatever”, I’m featuring a book by friend and sharp wit, Melissa Schroeder. I’ve only had the chance to read a few pages, but already it’s shaping up to be yummy!

Here’s a blurb:

John Hunter can’t refuse a request from his birth father to find his soon-to-be stepsister. But finding Mila means finding trouble, because it follows her everywhere. All he wants is to get her back to Earth and get his father off his back. The instant and almost overwhelming attraction to her doesn’t make him any happier.

Mila doesn’t need an overgrown Neanderthal in her way. She has a mission to accomplish. So what if she is a thrill junkie. She does her job, and does it well.

But before she can dump Hunter, her little game becomes more dangerous than she expected. Getting Hunter’s help means keeping him around, and doing that makes it impossible for her to keep her hands off of him. But even if she does end up in bed with him a few times…okay, a lot of times…it doesn’t mean she wants him butting in her business. And that is just what John does best. Uncovering her secrets could get both of them killed…if they don’t kill each other first.

Best of all, it released today from Ellora’s Cave.

To watch the video, click here. This promises to be an entertaining read. Check it out!!

So, since I’ve been heads down between spreading the word about TEMPT ME WITH DARKNESS and working hard on SEDUCE ME IN SHADOW, I missed a manly Monday. I wasn’t about to let that happen again, especially when I got such a great photo to share with everyone.

I didn’t get to see a lot of the Olympics, sadly. In between being on my cruise and all my other activities, the days slipped by me. BUT I didn’t miss out on some of the more inspiring photos. Here’s one I simply had to share.

Remind me to watch the Olympics next time… Enjoy!