The other day, I ran across this little bit on Yahoo with a list of the ultimate cheesy ballads. Who comprises these lists, anyway? Whose opinion is more exalted that anyone else’s? In this case, I think the titles were submitted by blog surfers, but it was amusing. The original list was longer, but I whittled it down to those I disliked the most.

11)Right Here Waiting – Richard Marx
I really never did like this song. I liked some of his other songs, but this one… I just kept wondering if he was so pathetic that he would just wait his life away while some chick was out there having the time of her life? The rest of the song might not even been about that, but I disliked the chorus so much, I didn’t really listen to the verses.

10)Hold On – Wilson Phillips
Oh…yikes! This is was totally overplayed, first of all. But I remember having this job right out of college, and one of my co-workers LOVED Wilson Phillips. I sat right across the aisle from her, and she played the CD over and over and over. She was going through a pitiful break up and said their music made her feel better, but I didn’t see how. And I didn’t have the heart to say, “I hate all of these *&^$ songs!” Especially Hold On.

9) One More Night – Phil Collins
This was the theme for my senior prom, which doesn’t necessarily have good associations for me anyway. I went with an ex-boyfriend…while he was supposed to be dating someone else. She glared daggers at me for 3 hours. But we double-dated with my ex, so talk about a tense night. I’m not one of these dress up types, so when we left early, changed into jeans and to let the limo take us for a ride up and down Pacific Coast Highway, THAT was a much better time. This song always reminds me of sitting at my prom, wishing I could just go before my date’s girlfriend found some way to dig her table knife in my back.

8) Everything I Do, I Do It For You – Bryan Adams
Where to start with this one… Remember that Kevin Costner movie, Robin Hood. Yeah, unfortunately, I do too. I always liked Bryan Adams. I have some of his music in my iPod now. But this song just reminds me of the fact I sat in the back of the theater, watching a movie that was supposed to take place in the 12th century and writing down all the words they used that weren’t actually words at that time. And don’t get me started on the costuming… For someone who’s written medieval historicals, let’s just say I winced a lot. This song brings it all back.

7) Crazy for You – Madonna
Another movie reference. Vision Quest was a basically sucky movie. Can’t stand the guy who starred in it, Mathew Modine, I think. Anyway, I don’t dislike the song that much, to be honest. But people were determined to put Madonna on the list and ponied up this suggestion. I have moments where I can see the point…but I still think it’s listenable.

6) Somewhere Out There – Linda Rondstadt James Ingram
Talk about pissed… So after RAH and I come back from our honeymoon, we get the wedding video back. We had a photo/intro segment of pictures of us growing up that segued into our engagement pictures, then the ceremony itself. I’d specifically asked for certain songs to be played on the video. When it ran long, did they call me and ask if I wanted to cut pictures or request another song? No, they just added this one. Even before this event, I’d disliked the song. Now…let’s say I don’t watch my wedding video that much. *sigh*

5) Oh, Mandy – Barry Manilow
Do I really need to say anything? Don’t get me wrong. I like some other Barry songs. Others suggested Weekend in New England. I was deeply offended. I have always liked that song. Very poignant. This one… Maybe it’s just me.

4) Lost in Your Eyes – Debbie Gibson
I never liked her, and this is really the worst of the worst.

3) Could Have Been – Tiffany
See # 4.

2) Glory of Love – Peter Cetera (Karate Kid II Soundtrack)
This was, as RAH would say, a beating all the way around for me. I disliked the movie it went with. The song itself annoyed me. The Glory of Love? Does anyone know exactly what that means? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, to make it worse, my mother decided that she LOVED this song. Seriously. And she got the cassette tape (back in the day, you know) and played it repeatedly. I think after a while it served as punishment. Why ground me and try to change my behavior over a week when a 3 minute song would have me backing down and groveling?

And drum roll please…

1) Open Arms – Journey
I like Journey and was surprised to see so many song suggestions by Steve Perry and the guys on the cheesy list. But this one did nothing for me. When one of my best girlfriends used this as her wedding song when she married a man I loathed (and still think is an utter jackass), that was the nail in the coffin. Every time I hear this, I see them dancing–the beautiful bride and the stiff corpse, both in terms of dancing ability and personality. He didn’t like me either. Go figure. After the wedding, he didn’t “allow” her to talk to me anymore, so naturally we’ve lost touch. She told me once this song motivated their first kiss. So it’s really another reason for me to thoroughly dislike the sucker.

So, those are from the users of Yahoo. What’s on your cheesiest ballads list and why?